Friday, March 9, 2012

My Champion

I heard from Dad this morning.

This morning I had a dream. I have been far removed from thoughts of hope for some time. I dreamed that I walked into my "back room" at my home in Zanesville. I knew I was home. It felt like home. There was the same amount of "comfortable" clutter, the books, the red carpet....etc. I was home. I then saw my father sitting in a chair. He was in his broken state, in this dream. I ran over to him and fell on his chest and then raised my head to his face. He couldn't speak very well. Our faces touched and I just cried and slobbered as I drew his head toward mine. I began to weep and apologize. I said, "dad, I'm sorry that I moved so far away".

I felt the longing we all feel when have so much to say, but can't say a thing. When emotion heaves from your broken heart and regrets clog your throat. It was all in a moment.  And then as I spoke with tears and felt once again my father's warm face against mine. Slowly my father began to speak with all the strength he had. In a windy, low, drawn out, and quiet voice I heard my Father say.........."my champion." I woke up in tears and breathless.

I missed my dad and wished that he could have seen me now, my home, my church, my wife, my son, my house. I decided to share this story, because I'm have been in a tired place for a long time and I know I'm not the only one. I was so overwhelmed that the words he chose to embrace me again were....my champion. I am still crying as write this blog.

You are not perfect. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, sometimes on purpose. Somehow though, God speaks to us in the most excellent ways. In my dream, I shared with you, I was taken back to a moment that never really existed, but it seemed so real. When I came to my father and began to apologize and weep for time lost. Once again he rescued me from my weakness in a simple way, by calling me "his champion". What does this mean? If you got this far then you are about to hear something from my heart.  I realized this. I am my Father's hopes and dreams. I am my Father's future, even though he is not close to me right now, his voice carries power and can dominate any negative or cross thought in my mind. When I see in the mirror a battered, weak, and often disappointing lump of flesh. My Father looks past all my regrets and failure and see's a CHAMPION. Pray for me.

1 comment:

  1. God is so awesome! Praise Him. I'm reading this while holding my daughter and listening to your tribute CD to your dad. You are singing truth over us nd I feel my Father's love. Prayers for you are lifted....

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